God and dating and relationships
Most of the love stories we see in pop culture are rooted in infatuation…not real love.
Some degree of infatuation is fine, but a relationship entirely rooted in infatuation is usually doomed.
However, I didn’t explain the incredibly damaging toll this takes on the relationship having a chance.
QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Sabotaging Your Love Life?
Instead, it is more like you are gasping for air, desperately hoping they’ll give you whatever it is you think you need from them.
Granted, even good relationships have a little bit of fixation mixed in with them (I must emphasize a little bit), but it is only during very occasional occurrences like arguments or when one or both partners are stressed.
Our society tries to make relationships into a thing – a thing that can be worked on, fixed or broken. You can say you have the song or own it, but saying you have a song on your i Pod has nothing to do with your experience of the song as it’s playing.
OK, so I talked earlier about what fixation feels like and how it’s the biggest warning sign that you’re trying to have a relationship with a bad match (that is, a match that isn’t going to work out in the long term and will drain your life, heart and soul until there’s nothing left…).It does not feel good, but it does feel very urgent, very important, and very stressful.When you’re fixated on someone, it feels more like you’re suffocating. like you must have them treat you a certain way, give you a certain relationship title, or somehow prove their commitment to you.You feel like until you have this, you are not OK and will not be OK.When you’re fixated on someone, your relationship ceases to be about enjoyment and effortlessness.